I’m a 50 year old grandmother.  I’ve gone through some shit, picked up some useful tools and developed some skills, and most days I am happy to be alive and can enjoy what is around me.  However, I have spent many a time asking myself, “Why should I stay alive?  I’ve spent the last 15 years recovering from addiction and CPTSD which brought on fibromyalgia, and want to share my knowledge with the hope it will help someone else stay alive for a little bit longer. 


I have qualifications in teaching, psychology, mental health, health and social care, Reiki and IT.  I have a wide range life experiences and have been through many life-changing events.  These events shaped me into who I am, but most importantly, they show me that I am strong and powerful.  Healing is a slow process and it takes little steps, but most of all we have to be gentle and loving towards ourselves.  One of the biggest obstacles I have had to overcome was asking for help.

I have struggled with my identity, apparently it is because I have been through a lot of trauma and have missed some developmental stages through ACE (Adverse Childhood Experiences) and have developed poor coping mechanisms.  I have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).  Most of my relationships have been dysfunctional but yet I carried on functioning.  Until I had a breakdown in 2016, a physical, mental and spiritual breakdown.  I am still recovering, not as others want me to, but walking my own path.   I’m recovering my spark and my vibrancy.  We are all energy and our vibrations and actions create the life we think about. 

My blog is to help me, and hopefully you, to be vulnerable, disperse negativity, resentment and self-destruction, and hopefully evolve into our true being.  I will share my insights and research I have gained on my recovery journey.  From darkness into light I am recovering and each day is a new journey.  I keep rebuilding myself, finding acceptance, deepening friendships, learning to trust the universe and forgive.  The main relationships I work on is the one I have with myself.  I strive for emotional stability, to be a better person than I was yesterday and I want to make a positive impact on the individuals I meet, the community and society.  I am self-aware, conscientious, caring, non-judgemental, generous, intuitive and perceptive, respectful and honest.

I enjoy helping and motivating others, I want to help others reach their goals, find solutions, actualise potential, growth and change.

So if you are struggling with life, know that you are not alone.  If you are in a pit of despair there is a way out.  I don’t have all the answers but we can work together to find that the answer is inside us. 

The big question is, “do you want to live or die?”  Either way you have to put some action in and take responsibility for your life.  Lets have a chat and see I  can help you transform and have a life worth living.  If you don’t think we gel I can point you on your journey.  If you don’t think we gel I can point you on your journey.

© 2023 by Heather Swift, Whistle in the dark.

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